Advice from Thalia
Dealing with Mean Girls......
Have you ever felt like you just got hit by a truck but you couldn't see it coming and you can't see where it went???You feel like you are in a lot of pain, but you just can't figure out what hit you????? Don't doubt yourself... don't think you're confused...... You probably got hit by the force known as "MEAN GIRLS."For some crazy reason, girls and young women can get hurt really badly by other girls or young women, and it happens so fast, and in such a sneaky way, that if it happens to you, you don't know what hit you!! it's a crazy kind of thing.
When boys are mad at each other, they fight it out with words or fists! Everyone sees it happen and everyone knows when it's over. Often, guys get over it pretty quick. They are lucky that it goes this way.
When girls, teenage girls, or young women get mad at each other or when they feel angry or threatened, their behavior is TOTALLY different. They get very sneaky about the way they express themselves. Girls and young women may show their anger or their insecurity by excludingother girls from conversation, or by ignoring other girls/young women -- basically finding ways to let you know you aren't included in their discussion. This is called "relational aggression" - not that it helps to know the technical term :( . It just may help if you recognize that's what you're dealing with. Then you can figure out what to do about it.....
So when you are faced with this kind of situation, the first thing to do is to remember that it's not you....the person who behaved aggressively towards you is obviously insecure, not particularly insightful, not compassionate, and clearly has her own problems!! There's nothing you can do about her. She has her own problems to deal with. What you can do is understand that this person and her group of friends aren't who you should be approaching these days to try to make friends. They aren't ready to deal with new people, and who knows how long it will take before they mature????? You've got to move on and find kids who are open to getting to know you.
The main thing to think about right now is that you can't waste time trying to relate to people who have problems of their own with relationships. It's a better use of your time to find people who are open to new relationships and new activities and experiences. As you think about the future, there's so many things you'll be doing, and so many different and interesting people you'll be meeting. You really won't have time for people who are limited by their own hang-ups. So no matter what has happened with kids from the past, think about who's coming up in your future. There's so many people to meet and so much fun to be had!!
Horseback riding at Hidden Acres Therapeutic Riding Center in Naugatuck went really well! We loved the horses and the chance to learn about them and ride! A few young women may have found a new passion!
Movie night for Teens: Oct 17th!
We really enjoyed "Girl Rising" shown on October 17th, at 6:30 at the Child Study Center. The movie is the story of nine girls who confront incredible challenges in their lives, and triumph. It's an inspiring story that reminds us how powerful and amazing girls and young women can be when they gather their resources and their courage to deal with issues in their lives. One of our friends said "if you feel strongly about something, I think you should be absolutely stubborn [about it] !" One girl from the film thought of herself as a superhero and this helped her to feel better about a terrible experience she had to cope with. We talked about the qualities these girls showed: brave, optimistic, cool, determined and hard-working.
Another friend said:
"maybe I should stand up and put myself out there...."
There's so much to think about with this movie. It's going to have a lasting impression.
First Meeting for Teens
The first meeting for teens was held on April 5th at the Child Study Center. Following introductions we talked as a group about the purpose of the Initiative, and what kinds of activities we’d like to do together. Some things mentioned were science activities, learning computer coding, Geo-caching/Letterboxing, art classes, movie nights, baking and shopping for books and clothes. Everyone agreed dining out would be a great option anytime!
We discussed whether a new name for our Initiative would make sense, rather than Initiative for Girls and Women with autism spectrum disorders. Some of the ideas were:
- Puzzle Pieces
- Rainbow animals
- Stella Bellas
- La Belle E’toile
- Hoshi NoOnnanoko
- Project Grow
We will keep brainstorming and get input from the Leadership Working Group and the Advisory Board for the Initiative.